10th Kidneversary!

Posted by ookgirl on January 31, 2022
Posted in: Living Kidney Donation. Tagged: , , , . 2 Comments
Dec. 9, 2021, was the 10th anniversary of my kidney donation.

Worth Noting

According to this article from Ohio State University, the kidney I donated to my stepdad is likely to last at least 10-13 years, while a kidney from a deceased donor might have survived only 7-9 years. So, I wanted to drop this post in here to mark the fact that as of this past December, it has been 10 years since my donation! I figured I should take stock of that and look back over this past decade.

First of all, the most important thing to say is that my stepdad is doing really well! Although his anti-rejection drugs have had the side effect of giving him skin cancer, he has remained otherwise healthy. It has been a remarkable thing to witness and makes me feel so good that I was able to donate to him.

And, in addition to 2021 being the 10th year since my donation to my stepdad, I believe it’s also been just over 10 years since my dad underwent surgery for colorectal cancer, which left him with a colostomy bag. Both my stepdad and my dad have done amazingly well since 2011! They are both in their 80s now and still very active. I’m truly grateful for how well they have done and amazed by them both!

Things

Here are some things I’d like to take stock of and acknowledge about my life and what I’ve done over this 10-year period:

  • I did three Ironman triathlons, the Escape from Alcatraz triathlon, and several shorter triathlons. (I almost can’t believe I did this – as I look back now… I was sort of a badass at one time … I don’t do tri’s anymore, but I appreciate that I got to do them. They gave me a lot of joy!)
  • I successfully completed the Great Chesapeake Bay Swim of 4.4 miles with my friend Terese.
  • I successfully completed the JFK 50 Mile ultramarathon with my husband.
  • I hiked the Maryland portion of the Appalachian Trail with my husband.
  • I changed jobs/careers three times (!) — moving from a technical writer/trainer position, to a product owner/manager position, back to the training realm, as a course manager and instructional designer.
  • I was a “donor buddy” for four other donors, and – most especially – was able to give advice and support to my niece, who donated to my nephew! (Out of everything on this list, I’m most grateful for this last one.)

In recent years, I’ve slowed down some. But that is mainly due to getting a bit older and having different priorities. I think if I’d really wanted to keep doing triathlons, I could have. I’ve also ended up having high blood pressure. But I can’t say for sure whether my kidney donation had anything to do with that. Recently, I’ve realized that I am way too high-strung and just need to chill out!

I definitely want to stop and appreciate the moment more these days. Wouldn’t it be cool if–after the next 10 years–I could write another post where I told you that I focused on stopping and appreciating all the moments as they passed by?

I recently saw a sweet little movie called The Map of Tiny Perfect Things. It made me reflect on the tiny, perfect moments that can pass by unnoticed and the people you can forget to reach out to even though you love them dearly. You can care about people deeply but forget to tell them or even ask how they are doing. I don’t want to look back and regret that I missed such opportunities.

Ookbiquitous

Posted by ookgirl on May 2, 2021
Posted in: Living Kidney Donation. Tagged: . 1 Comment
One, two, three, four… I wonder how many more…

A friend of ours used to joke that he thought trailer parks actually cause tornadoes… You know, because whenever you’d hear about a tornado touching down, it seemed like a trailer park was always part of the destruction.

Lately, I’ve started to wonder if a similar type of ridiculous causality is surrounding me. More and more people in my circle keep turning out to be what I call “ooksters,” or people with only one (functioning) kidney.

You already know about me and my stepdad. He’s the reason I started this OOK blog. Both of his kidneys failed, so I gave him one of mine. Two ooksters. Then, there’s my mom, whom I wrote about in this post. Her peripheral arterial disease caused one of her kidneys to shut down. So, that’s three of us.

Then, I changed jobs. And it turns out that my new boss has also donated a kidney. How crazy. Another ookster! And now, as if it’s some kind of weird fad, two of my favorite people are preparing to join the club…

As I talked about in my last post, my nephew Daniel ended up with an illness that caused his kidneys to fail. For a while we didn’t know exactly what condition led to his kidney failure. But now, we know that he has Focal Segmental Glomerulosclerosis (FSGS). We still don’t know exactly what caused the FSGS. But the good news is that the doctors don’t think it is hereditary. And the even better news is that my dear niece Stephanie (his sister) has offered to donate one of her kidneys to him!

Daniel & Stephanie

She’s gone through all the testing, which has taken longer than usual during the pandemic. And, they have both now had their COVID-19 vaccines. So, assuming all goes well, in a few days, my oddly growing club of ooksters will grow by two more.

Although I’m sort of making light of things, the truth is that I have giant butterflies flying around inside me. Daniel and Stephanie are in the prime of their lives. Only good things are allowed to happen to them, in my opinion.

They are very close, as siblings go. And they are both artists at heart. Artists give away parts of themselves all the time. But the beauty of this gift is so stirring. It touches me deeper than when I went through it myself. I imagine they will have an even stronger bond as a result of this experience. And every time I think of their pending kidney hand-off and the magic of modern medicine that makes it possible… It still stops me in my tracks, as if I hadn’t gone through it myself.

I’m nervous about their surgeries. But my personal experience suggests all will go well. I’m grateful that we’ll have this special thing in common. I hope it draws us closer still.

I’ll have to come up with a special shirt or handshake for all the people in my ookster club. And maybe a warning sticker to wear for those just getting to know me… Beware: if you hang out with me, you may find yourself giving away, or receiving, a kidney… or some other part of yourself. It seems to happen to the best of us.

If I was dying on my knees
You would be the one to rescue me
And if you were drowned at sea
I’d give you my lungs so you could breathe
I’ve got you brother

Kodaline

Songlist:

  • Three More Days – Ray LaMontagne
  • Brother – Kodaline
  • Lean on Me – Bill Withers
  • You’ve Got a Friend – James Taylor
  • In My Life – The Beatles
  • Count on Me – Bruno Mars
  • The Mother We Share – CHVRCHES
  • Orange Sky – Alexi Murdoch
  • My Big Sister – Bare Naked Ladies 🙂
  • Brothers and Sisters – Coldplay
  • Garden Song – Phoebe Bridgers
  • Murder in the City – Avett Brothers
  • I wonder what other songs Daniel and Stephanie are thinking of?

Post Script
A few hours after I wrote this post, my husband was talking to someone we recently met in our little town. She said she’s also a kidney donor! I’m telling you: it’s a thing!

Have You A Kidney to Spare?

Posted by ookgirl on March 19, 2020
Posted in: giving, Living Kidney Donation. Tagged: , , , , , . 5 Comments
Contemplation

When I donated a kidney to my stepfather almost 10 years ago, I was, well, almost 10 years younger. At that time, even though I wasn’t super young, I was younger-enough than my stepfather — that my kidney seemed like a nice, shall we say, upgrade for him. Some people who get donated kidneys end up needing more than one over the course of their lives… And, so far, knock on wood, my kidney still seems to be supporting my stepfather pretty well. I’m very grateful for that.

But, when you’re a person who would be willing to donate an organ, and you find out, as I have, that another person in your family… a person who is dear to you, a person who has their whole life ahead of them, a person who deserves to have the healthiest, most vibrant life possible, now also needs a kidney … it’s a little gut-wrenching to realize that, not only are you no longer a spring chicken, in possession of a nice upgrade kidney, but you only have one left and cannot give it away.

This is my current situation. I recently learned that that my super-amazing nephew, 25 years old, a producer on a morning tv show, a music-lover, musician, actor, extremely bright, pensive, introspective, humorous, lovely person… finds himself in kidney failure. And I – the only-one-kidney girl –must accept that I have … Only. One.

It’s just not fair.

From left to right: me, my husband, my nephew, Daniel, my mom, and my stepdad

After I spoke to my sister (his mother) the other day, when she gave me the news, I felt a little bad that I didn’t cry and freak out and get exasperated over the reality of the situation. But I guess I was just focusing on what the solution might be. (I tend to be able to do this when it’s someone else’s problem. When I have a problem of my own, I tend to just focus on the problem, not the solution. I should learn from myself!)

Anyway…

I remember when my stepfather first got sick many years ago. It was really hard for my mom, and she was at her wit’s end a lot of the time. And I remember telling her not to freak out, that it would be okay. I look back on it now and wonder if I seemed really callous or something. I should have *worried with her.* But I wanted to see the practical side of the situation. It was way before we got to the point that he needed a kidney transplant. So, I had no idea that I would eventually help in the way that I did. But I felt sure that he would come through it okay.

Now, when talking to my sister, I also feel optimistic and practical… confident that someone will come forward and donate a kidney to my nephew. Even if I had one to give, I would prefer that someone younger would do it. He doesn’t deserve a thoroughly used kidney. He deserves a fabulous, vivacious, energetic, enthusiastic kidney.

Maybe I am naïve or weird to think that it will be so automatic for someone else to do this. I should realize that everyone doesn’t see this type of thing the way I do. But I wish so hard that someone will.

Perhaps my role now, as a slightly older ookgirl, is to share my experience with whomever that is, so they know it can be such a gift to give of oneself. And so they know they can have a wonderful, normal life afterward.

I’m here for you, whoever you are. I’m waiting. I’m praying. I’m hoping you’ll hear this call I’m sending out. Maybe you are someone I know or someone he knows. Maybe you are a stranger. Maybe we will never meet you. But I feel you are there.

His life is so worth it. Your life will be worth more for it. Trust me.

“Strangers passing in the street. By chance two separate glances meet, and I am you and what I see is me.” –Pink Floyd

Another One-Kidney Adventure!

Posted by ookgirl on November 30, 2019
Posted in: exercise, Maryland, motivation. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , . 4 Comments

Never before had I teared up while standing to face the flag for the National Anthem. But this time, I was 18-years-old, and I’d just completed my first day of basic training in the U.S. Air Force. Although it’s likely my eyes had filled up due to fear as much as patriotism, there was also an overwhelming sense that I was now part of something greater than myself.

Serving in the military gave me so many things. It got me out of the house and out on my own. It gave me excellent training and funding for college. It allowed me to see and live in other parts of the world. And, of course, it’s where I met my husband, Craig.

“There are two of us on the run

Going so fast, every doubt we had is coming undone..”

Lucious

So, on a recent morning in late November, when my eyes filled with tears again, I was sad that Craig wasn’t standing next to me. Don’t worry, nothing had happened to him. He had ducked out to take some things to our car just before the JFK 50 Mile ultramarathon that we were about to do. In the pre-race briefing, the race director talked about the history of the race and how so many active duty and former military members participate in it each year. He asked those of us who fell into that category to stand, and everyone applauded. Once again, my eyes got watery and I was filled with a sense of something greater than myself… and, let’s face it, a little bit of fear about what we were going to attempt. I wished Craig had been there just then, because he embodies everything I think of when it comes to grit, endurance, and service to those around him.  

The Runners!

Race Director Mike Spinnler held up race number 1 and explained that no one would be wearing it in this year’s race. It belonged to William “Buzz” Sawyer, who organized the first edition of the event back in 1963. Buzz passed away at age 90 in February. So this year’s race would be a memorial to both him and its name sake. As a high school coach, Buzz had pulled together a group of his athletes to join him in a 50-mile challenge, inspired by the one President John F. Kennedy had given to his generals and administration around that time. Buzz kept it going for 30 years before turning it over to Spinnler. 

Kennedy had touted the importance of physical fitness even before he took office, when he wrote an article called “The Soft American” in Sports Illustrated. He wasn’t the first president to call attention to fitness, however. His predecessor, Dwight D. Eisenhower, a military man himself, had established the President’s Council on Youth Fitness, which Kennedy continued and expanded. And, it was upon learning about an executive order that President Theodore Roosevelt had given to his Marine officers in 1908–to finish 50 miles in 20 hours–that Kennedy decided to put the same challenge to his military. His brother and Attorney General, Bobby Kennedy, took on the challenge and completed it, as you can see in this short video.

The 50-mile challenge inspired other events around the country, by groups like the boy scouts and high school teams, just like Buzz and his athletes. Our friends, Jon and Terese, would be our support crew for the race; and it was cool to learn from Jon that his father had also completed one of the 50-mile challenges back in the early 60s. As a civilian working for the Operations Evaluation Group on assignment to Quantico, Va., his father had joined a battalion of U.S. Marines on such a hike to and from the Basic School, where they stopped mid-way for a steak lunch!

After JFK was assassinated in 1963, other 50-mile events around the country stopped running. But the one Buzz started continued and is today the oldest ultramarathon in the country. Buzz put together a route in Washington County that followed a similar path to the one we would traverse, including part of the Appalachian Trail (AT) and the C&O Canal Towpath. His group finished in just over 13 hours, and that is the current time cutoff for people doing the race. We would start at 0630 and needed to finish by 1930 (that’s 7:30 pm for you non-military types 😉 ).

Start Line

I was most concerned about the AT portion, which takes place in the first 15.5 miles of the race. Craig and I had done a handful of trail runs, including some on the AT. But we knew that one mis-placed foot and a trip on the rocky, hilly terrain could leave you severely injured and derail your whole race. Because the first major time checkpoint on the race was at the point where you come off the AT, Craig instructed me that if he should fall, I was to keep going and not miss the cut-off. 

We both knew that it would be hard for either of us to keep going if the other person fell. So, it seemed to work out well that I got ahead of him by running up the hill coming out of Boonsboro at the start of the race. This way, I wouldn’t be around to see if he fell… Many people chose to walk this steep incline (which was probably a smart way to save your legs). But I was afraid I’d be walking enough later in the race, so I kept running.
That put me about 20 minutes ahead of Craig by the time I exited the AT. And that was my only goal – to get off the AT in one piece and before the cut-off! After that, I was going to accept whatever I could do… We had trained pretty well for most of the summer, getting up to distances of around 30-32 miles. But due to injuries and traveling schedules, our training had dropped off during the last month or so. Therefore, it was anyone’s guess whether we could finish this thing.

Jon and Terese, the perfect race-sherpas, were there at Weverton when I came off the AT and offered me food and the opportunity to change shoes or socks. I felt pretty good. I was actually amazed at how good I felt! But I knew the next checkpoint would come fast and I should keep going. I ran pretty well to the next major checkpoint which comes at about 28 miles. It was nice to run on the flat C&O trail, in the cool fall air and with the river keeping me company. The only nagging thing was that my GPS watch was telling me I was a mile further than the aid station signs said I was. I found out later that Craig’s watch was even worse – showing that he was up to four miles ahead of the actual distance. That really messes with your head!

Me – coming off the AT at Weverton Cliffs

At Anteitem, the second stop where we could meet our support crew, it was good to hear from Jon & Terese that Craig was doing well. He had fallen about five times on the AT, but didn’t really hurt himself. He joked that he was doing “emergency push-ups” each time he fell. I knew that once he was off the AT and could socialize with other runners on the course, he would do pretty well. I told them I wasn’t sure how much further I would go, but that I wanted to get beyond 30 miles. They thought I could definitely finish the full 50 with no problem, based on my current pace. But I was trying to take it bit by bit.

During the next section, as we pushed along to mile 38, I found that talking to other people on the course and trying to run/walk with them was a good strategy. It really pushed me to try to stay with a man and woman who were running together. Their running pace was a bit faster than mine, but they were run-walking, so I knew I could get a break every now and then. He was a heart-attack survivor and had done the race several times. He was closely monitoring his heart rate, and every time it got above a certain point, he’d stop and walk for a short period.
 
When I stopped to see Jon & Terese at Taylors Landing (mile 38), it was starting to get colder, and there was a possibility of rain. I knew I would be walking more from here on out, so I wanted to get my rain jacket from them in case I started to get cold. At this point, I only had a few miles to go before I’d be off the C&O trail portion and onto the road which covers the last 8.5 miles of the race. That was my new goal. Craig was about an hour behind me now and would be pushing close to the time cutoffs. I had calculated that I could walk the last portion and still finish in time. So, I was going to try to conserve energy now. Although I knew I could finish within the cutoff of 13 hours, I wasn’t going to believe it until it happened. So, I couldn’t relax too much.

I ran with another lady for a while on the final C&O portion. But her pace was a bit too fast for me, so I told her to keep going. When I got to the road, they gave me the “vest of shame” – which is the reflective vest they give to anyone who gets to that point after 3 pm. That was okay by me, though, because I had forgotten my head lamp, and it ended up being really dark on the road. I did have a small green light that Craig got for each of us. So, it was better than nothing. I pretty much walked the final portion up to the last half-mile, and then I ran that last bit across the finish line. It was only then that I realized it was raining. I didn’t quite beat 12 hours – finishing in 12:02. But just finishing at all was way more than I expected. It was definitely another emotional moment for me – to realize I had completed this bucket list item!

After a very welcome shower at the high school in Williamsport where the finish line was, I went outside to join Jon & Terese and wait for Craig to finish. It was raining a bit harder now. At this point, there was about 15 minutes before the final time cut-off. We didn’t know if he would make it, and we knew it would be a huge disappointment to come so far and get swept up by the sweeper van. With less than 10 minutes to go, I kept looking for his small green light. We knew he had a head lamp too, but only the green light would distinguish him from the other few people coming down the road.

The race announcer pointed out that we could now see the sweeper van coming down the road, too. A few runners were still in front of it. All I could think was that if it were me, I would refuse to get on it if it stopped me that close to the finish line! Just then, I could see that one of the runners was Craig, his green light shining on his left shoulder. It was so exhilarating to cheer him in! We knew he would make it at this point, and he finished in 12:54, with six minutes to spare!

Craig finishing just in time!

We had no clear goals for the JFK 50 Mile – other than to try it. We knew it would be hard for us. Even though we are both Ironman finishers, neither of us are super-fast runners. But it was fitting to complete it together. We spent our military careers together, and we had marveled at the JFK 50 since Craig had supported one of our friends from the Air Force when he did it years ago. It was a really cool experience, and I recommend it to anyone who is considering it. If we can do it, you can do it! 

Being on the AT and the C&O trail was really peaceful, almost transcendental. You feel stripped down to the core of your being. And then, you’re surrounded by people who are in the fight with you, so to speak. They’re all happy to help you and encourage you, while also trying to do their own race. It’s times like these that I feel barriers come down between people. In the divided political climate of our country right now, I want to believe in something true and honorable that make us all American in the best possible way.

I don’t know if we embody JFK’s idea of being physically fit and non-soft Americans. We were definitely sore Americans for a few days afterward! Still, it’s cool to feel a part of something so historic and bigger than ourselves. It made me feel nostalgic and hopeful.

The Finishers!

“I stopped believing in black and white
In politics
Or in left or right
I stopped believing in Hollywood
In only the bad
In only the good
I stopped believing in dreams come true
But I still believe in you…”

Flyte

Not Impervious

Posted by ookgirl on August 27, 2018
Posted in: diet, exercise, Living Kidney Donation. Tagged: , , , . 6 Comments

IMG_9713

I didn’t want to write this blog post, but I felt obligated to level with you and let you know about something that happened to me… It’s not a huge thing, but it’s not a small thing. I’m not sure of the proper way to describe it. But if you’re a fellow ookster (i.e., an only-one-kidney -ster), it’s only fair for me to let you know that I’m not completely impervious. Yes, I’ve been going along with just one kidney — happy as a clam, no complaints. But recently, I had a bit of a health scare that I thought I should share.

Impervious means, “not allowing fluid to pass through.” But it also means “insusceptible.” I think those two meanings are interesting here, since the kidney is meant to filter the blood from its impurities, while also regulating the blood pressure, the pressure of the blood as it flows through the body. It turns out that my lone kidney… the one I should be thinking of always, and protecting, since I gave away its partner and asked it to soldier on alone… is not insusceptible… and it suffered a little recently.

Just over a month ago, I got a bladder infection, which was treated with antibiotics and–supposedly– went away. But then,  two weeks ago, I ended up in the emergency room with severe “flank pain” on my right side. As you may recall, it was my left kidney that I gave away. So, I was pretty sure the pain was from my lone, right kidney. I wasn’t sure if it might be a kidney stone or something else. But it was p r e t t y   d a r n   p a i n f u l !!

They did a CT scan and did not see any kidney stones. But they did see inflammation and some other indications that I probably had a kidney infection. It’s not clear if this was a progression of the bladder infection or a new infection. But I think it was the former.

Kidney infections (or any infections in the urinary tract) can be quite common. For most people, it is a minor inconvenience. You go to your doctor, get your antibiotics, and go on your merry way. But for an ookster, it can be a little scary, because you don’t want to damage the only kidney you have.

They kept me in the hospital for two nights and ran intravenous fluids through me at a swift pace, as well as intravenous antibiotics. Then, they sent me home with more antibiotics and probiotics. (I had all the biotics, people!) … After a few days, I was back to normal … for the most part. (Hey, was I ever normal?)

My consolation prize from all this (besides a renewed desire to take friggin’ better care of my kidney!) was high blood pressure. We aren’t sure if it was just caused by the original infection (my blood pressure had always been normal before then.) But it has stayed high since that first infection, and my primary care physician finally decided to put me on medication for it.

In fairness, it’s worth noting that high blood pressure runs in my family, and –by personality– I’m pretty high-strung. So, I probably had the makings of this condition, ookster status notwithstanding. Still, it makes me feel a little defeated. My doctor says we will see how I do on the medication. And with my healthy lifestyle (exercising, avoiding alcohol*, avoiding salt, drinking lots of water, etc.) – perhaps I can get off the medication down the line.

So, let this be a lesson from your Auntie Jenn… If you only have one kidney, and you think you might have an infection anywhere in your urinary tract – run, don’t walk, to your doctor’s office and get checked out. It’s not worth taking a chance on this small, but big, thing.

*Oh yeah, avoiding alcohol… I’ve been doing that for the most part since we returned from Vermont. It was something I wanted to do anyway. And now, I have an even better reason to. All that craft beer and the occasional glass of wine or margarita will just need to be enjoyed by other folks, preferably those with strong livers and two kidneys 🙂

I'm breathing in 
the oxygen
I'm holding it 
through hard times
I'm breathing out 
in the ultrasound
Things come around 
in hard times

Ten thousand miles of the new prescriptions
So we open our mouths
And take 'em all inside
One pill at a time
--Guster

Embracing My Fifties on a Bicycle in VT

Posted by ookgirl on July 8, 2018
Posted in: Cycling, inspiration. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . 9 Comments

“Hey, Jay … Do you mind raising my seat a bit?” I asked one of our Trek Travel guides as an unusually hot July day unfolded in Shelburne, VT. I hated myself for requesting the adjustment, because our group was anxious to go, and I knew the guides were working hard to get us on the road before we all melted in the sun. It was our first bike ride on the “Vermont Brewery Tour” that I had booked with my husband and some friends to celebrate my upcoming 50th birthday… part of my personal “embrace what’s next” campaign. (More on that later.) We would spend six days riding through the countryside of Vermont and stopping at various craft brewery spots to enjoy the food and tastes some beer. My vision for the trip didn’t exactly include the record-breaking heat we were experiencing. (The heat also squelched our desire to taste beer.) But Vermont was doing its part to supply the lush green fields, perfect red barns, rolling hills, quaint towns, and craft beer. Still, I could feel the rumblings of a bunch of potentially grumpy people if we didn’t get going soon.

img_9406

In addition to our friends, Jon & Terese, we were joined by a father-daughter team from Florida, a couple from California, and another couple from Maryland. We’d soon realize what a great group we had, something you can’t take for granted when you get thrown together with complete strangers on a vacation. Our guides, Jake and Jay, took all our requests in stride, and were extremely professional and easy going. They rolled along with our group and helped to make the trip whatever we wanted it to be. I was amazed by their patience, their sense of what each person needed, and the way they worked their butts off (without making it look like work!) to ensure we always had full water bottles, pre-programmed Garmins, and bikes set up in a gear that would get us going up the hills straight away. We called them our bike ninjas. Sure, they’re getting paid to do what seems like a sweet gig, but it’s practically a 24-hour-a-day job. And I’m sure we only saw a portion of what they must do each day to get everything prepared. They took wonderful care of us and made us feel like a cohesive tribe. In addition to six bike rides, they also guided us on a spectacular hike.

IMG_9486

Our friend Jon asked me several times throughout the trip whether it was all I had expected. It made me stop and think whether I had any particular expectations. I definitely did not expect the heat. But, otherwise, the trip was perfect. I got to escape for a while, do something a little challenging yet fun, be with friends, make new friends, and think about turning 50…

img_9463If you’ve read other entries in this blog, you know its main focus was my kidney donation… and then to check in from time to time to basically say, “I’m still here, living a full life…” For anyone who has reason to consider a donation, I want to be living proof that it doesn’t take anything away… It gives back. And, as always, I want people to know that my stepdad is still doing well also. But, as I get older, while I don’t want to slow down completely, I do want to stop and smell the roses a little more. So, this trip was a way to do that. Not doing anything extreme, but not laying around on a beach either.

IMG_9371

My friend Crystal, who is actually a little younger than me, inspired me to stop coloring my hair and let the gray start coming through. I absolutely hate it, but I’m trying to embrace it like she does. She’s always encouraging me to ‘own’ things, while Jon encourages me to have some ‘swagger’… I guess that’s what I was trying to do with this trip. I love Vermont. I love the way it makes me forget about the rest of the world and just focus on the ones I love and simple pleasures.

img_9398

For part of our trip, we were in Middlebury, VT, where I had spent a summer back in 2006 –when I truly fell in love with the place. I had gone to Middlebury College for a language immersion program. A sort of sabbatical. I still don’t know why I went, except that I was searching for myself. I was sort of a good Russian linguist years before in the Air Force, and I wanted to see if I could be really good at it. Plus, I was pondering a career change. But I didn’t end up loving that career idea after all. I guess I realized that it wasn’t what I was meant to do… Anyway, during that summer, I would go running on a trail around the golf course. I found that trail again while we were there on this trip and ran down part of it. I found myself saying thank you to the trail for still being there… like a good friend.

IMG_9383

I think it was only when I was running on that trail 12 years ago that I was really finding myself. There’s something about the solitude of a good run and the peace that it brings you. The same is true of a good bike ride. You feel the road beneath your wheels and the breeze in your face on a good downhill. So much peace. Maybe it’s not your occupation or what you do for a living that defines you, but the peace you carry with you and share with others. Since I’m naturally uptight, I need to feel more peace and share more peace. This is a self-improvement goal I have.

IMG_9467

Somehow, we were all nicer people at the end of that first hot day of our Vermont Brewery Tour. We burned off all our stress and melted away our insecurities. So grateful were we for a cold drink, some air conditioning, and the feeling of accomplishment. That hot ride made everything that came after it better. Here’s to 50 and all that comes after it!

And now, an eclectic playlist for you 🙂

  • We Are One (Celebrate Humanity) – The Soil
  • The General – Dispatch
  • Firework – Katy Perry
  • Good Sign – The Silver Seas
  • Super Freak (cover) – Meiko
  • Quite Like You – Andy Shauf
  • My Mind is an Endless Sea – The Wind and the Wave
  • Magnificent – Elbow
  • Julie (Come Out of the Rain) – Josh Rouse
  • Astronaut – Jess Marie
  • Silverlake – Underlined Passages

 

Inspire-ometer

Posted by ookgirl on August 30, 2017
Posted in: inspiration, Living Kidney Donation. Tagged: , , , , , . 3 Comments

IMG_7814

“No Free Water” said the hand-written sign taped to the wall in the hospital room. It seemed like such a funny thing to say, but then you see the “Gatorade only” written beneath it and you figure out that it just means, “no plain water.”

Here I was again, sitting in a hospital room in Atlanta, GA. But it was a different hospital, and I wasn’t here to donate a kidney, even though I wished desperately that I could spare another.

My mother just had by-pass surgery to unblock some arteries leading to her heart. Her electrolytes were running low, so they wanted to make sure she didn’t flush any more out by drinking plain water. This surgery only came about because the doctors finally (FINALLY) realized that she has Peripheral Arterial Disease (PAD) in her legs and the arteries leading to her kidneys. One kidney is already non-functioning, and the other one is at risk. In about six weeks, she’ll have another surgery to unblock those arteries.

Now, her mission is to get stronger so she is ready for that surgery, which she is keen to have sooner rather than later. After caring for my step-dad while he was on dialysis, I suspect she doesn’t want to go through that herself. She’s already had what must have been the most distressing several months ever, where doctors thought the pain she felt in her legs was caused by sciatica. She even had what turns out to have been a totally unnecessary back surgery that, needless to say, did nothing to relieve the pain. She must have thought she was going crazy… or that the doctors thought she was.

I’m so grateful she is finally getting the treatment she needs, and not a second too soon! One thing that was throwing off the doctors was that her heart is still quite healthy, and nothing was pointing them in a vascular direction. I always knew my mom had a strong, beautiful heart!

As we sat for many hours in her recovery room, we got to hear the doctors, nurses, and physical therapists encourage her to breathe into her inspirometer and do at least three walks per day around the ICU corridors. Only by getting stronger, they said, could she go home and start the road to full recovery… and then prepare for the next major surgery. The message was clear: She still had a long way to go.

That sort of threw me into “coach mode” and I became a little overbearing with my mother. I was asking her over and over if she was ready to go for a walk. And, as you would expect from someone feeling nauseous, weak, and in pain, she was apprehensive and wanting to rest ‘just a little while more’ before getting up to scoot her walker around the nurses’ station. Inside, I knew she deserved a break after all she had been through. But on the outside, for some reason, I felt the need to play the tough-love card.

It made me wonder why I wanted to push her so much. I’ve thought a lot about it. And, I guess that when you’ve trained for an Ironman, you have a different perspective. You’re constantly looking at the goal and thinking, “I won’t ever be able to go that distance if I can’t first go half that distance…” I knew that if my mom only walked once yesterday, trying to do it three times today was going to be hard. And not just physically, but mentally. It’s almost more about what you *think* you can do. And, proving to yourself that you can go to one limit, allows you to think you can reach the next.

Another thing that occurred to me was that in a race, you know where the finish line is and you know what the time cutoff is. It’s just a natural motivator. Either you’re going to reach that finish line and make it within the cutoff, or you’re not. If you haven’t trained for it, you can sort of guess what the outcome might be. But, in life, we don’t know where the ultimate finish line is. Or if we’ve done enough to get there. Is it next year? Next week?

If we knew, would we be more motivated to do those things that we know we need to do? Right now? Without waiting a while longer?  Lose weight, quit our vices, exercise more, relax more, enjoy our family more.. What kind of inspire-ometer would that be … to breathe life into us and put wind in our sails?

Hello my old heart
How have you been?
How is it, being locked away?
Well don't you worry
In there, you're safe
And it's true, you'll never beat
But you'll never break
--The Oh Hellos

 

Pentakidneyversary!

Posted by ookgirl on December 12, 2016
Posted in: aquabike, giving, Living Kidney Donation, motivation, music, new years. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 5 Comments

According to WordPress, I haven’t posted in 8 months. Yikes!

Well, I wanted to at least check in and celebrate the fact that on Friday, Dec. 9, 2016 – it was my and my stepdad’s pentakidneyversary! Five years ago that day, it worked out that I was able to donate my kidney to my stepdad, and I’m thankful to say that he is still doing well, and so am I!

gary-and-me

A lot of stuff has happened this year that I’m not too happy about. But that right there is one thing to celebrate! Through this blog, I met another kidney donor and her recipient. We met in the months leading up to their donation. I wanted to be encouraging but not too pushy about it, because donating is really a personal choice. So, I kept my distance a little. Although her donation was ultimately successful, she did encounter some complications in the days after the surgery. It shook me up a bit. She’s fine now and doing many fantastic athletic things. So, I’m really happy that things worked out well for them! But, I also wanted to step back and realize how lucky my stepdad and I were, and that you can’t take anything for granted!

It’s also worth noting for the record that I was successful in my attempt this past June to complete the Great Chesapeake Bay Swim. I’m including a picture of me and my friend, Terese, who faced down the challenge along with me! We had big swells and a lot of wind. But even though it felt like a washing machine much of the time, the wind was going in our favor. And I ended up swimming it 20 minutes faster than I expected!

gcbs2016

It was my last notable athletic achievement for a while. Unfortunately, while trying to do more longer runs later in the summer, I ended up breaking a metatarsal in my right foot (where I previously had had a stress fracture). And, now I’m fighting a losing battle at trying to make a big black orthopedic boot look fashionable. I am honestly not sure if I will return to long-distance running after this. Maybe I will become an aquabike girl. There are more races these days that offer aquabike (swim-bike) as an option. It’s not as prestigious, but at least you’re doing something! I’ve always said that ‘the run is the thing’. After all that swimming and biking, it’s on the run that people really show what they’re made of. But, alas, maybe it’s not my thing. We shall see…

In closing, I just want to say one thing… In 2016, I felt like I lost myself a little bit. But I hope to find myself again in 2017. Some crazy things happened in 2016, and I feel like life has been out of control. I’m glad the Cubs won, and I’m happy for my Army friends that Army finally beat Navy. But other things were topsy turvy, and I was no exception. I’m turning that around, though!

I leave you with a jumbled mix of old, melancholy, sad, new, upbeat, happy, emphatic songs. Reflective of my moods lately. Maybe I should rename this post moodygirl  🙂

—————————————————————-

  • Sweetest Decline – Beth Orton
  • Older Chests – Damien Rice
  • Georgia – Vance Joy
  • Sad Eyes – Josh Rouse
  • Gepetto – Belly
  • The World Ender – Lord Huron
  • Love Like This – Kodaline
  • Holy Commotion – The Pretenders
  • Dark Necessities – Red Hot Chili Peppers
  • Gone – JR JR
  • Turn it Around – The Head and the Heart

 

It’s World Kidney Day!

Posted by ookgirl on March 10, 2016
Posted in: giving, Living Kidney Donation, team in training. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 2 Comments

WKD_Logo_2016_400px

I only just realized that there is such a thing as World Kidney Day. And it’s today!

As I’ve mentioned before, you tend to forget that you’re a kidney donor after a while… Okay, so, “forget” is not the right word. But you just don’t have it in mind that often.

Recently, I was reminded when someone found my name on an online list of willing “living donor buddies” on the living donors online web site.

I have to thank that person, because it made me think back to what the donation was like and all that I am grateful for now. I remember thinking through my decision to donate and all the “what ifs”. What if my body can’t handle it? What if my recipient’s body rejects the kidney? What if something goes wrong with one of the surgeries? The list goes on. You have to think through these things, because they are real. And, in the end, it’s a personal decision that only you can make.

But you know what is indisputable? It feels good to give. It just does. I challenge you to give of yourself and not feel good.

In fact, I will even offer you a way to give! … I am once again raising money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (LLS) through a program called Team in Training (TNT). It has nothing to do with my kidney donation. It’s just an organization that is dear to my heart. Since I was lucky enough to get selected in the lottery for the Great Chesapeake Bay Swim (4.4 miles from one side of the bay to the other), I decided to raise money for LLS while I train. LLS funds important research that will help blood cancer patients in the future, and a lot of the research actually has implications for other types of cancers. If you can find it in yourself to give, please visit my donation page.

I am only one,

But still I am one.

I cannot do everything,

But still I can do something.

And because I cannot do everything

I will not refuse to do

The something that I can do.  ~Edward Everett Hale~

————————————————————————-

Early Spring Playlist

  • 10,000 Emerald Pools – BORNS
  • What You Call Love – Guster
  • Every Time Katie – David Wax Museum
  • Second Chance – Peter Bjorn and John
  • Genghis Khan – Miike Snow
  • Northern Highway – Martin Courtney
  • Return to the Moon – EL VY
  • Electric Love – BORNS
  • Mojave Phone Booth – David Mead
  • Breathe In – Frou Frou
  • Better – Regina Spektor
  • Birds and Stars – Elephant Revival

Ironman Maryland 2015 Race Report

Posted by ookgirl on November 5, 2015
Posted in: Ironman, Ironman Maryland, Maryland. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . 4 Comments

IMMD-Finish-Line

Photos in this post either purchased from Finisher Pix or provided by friends Jon, Terese, and Randy. THANKS!

The lights will draw you in 
And the dark will bring you down 
And the night will break your heart 
Only if you're lucky now.
-Ryan Adams

One of my favorite lines from a humorous Ironman Maryland 2015 race report that I read on Facebook was about how it was on the run that author realized the city of Cambridge, MD did not believe in outdoor electricity. I was thinking the same thing as I was completing the run portion of the race. While I started the run in the daylight, it wasn’t long before it got dark, and you could hardly see anything in between aid stations. There were very few streetlights. If I were faster, and the race hadn’t been postponed to later in October, perhaps I wouldn’t have had to worry about running so much of it in the dark. But it was all good, and I enjoyed every minute of it. Despite the lack of lighting (which is really my only complaint about the race), there was such a great vibe around this race! We were all so happy just to be there! Here’s why…

With our "sherpas" on race morning.

With our “sherpas” on race morning.

For me, there are a few reasons why this race felt so wonderful even though I didn’t break a personal record (PR) or anything. Mostly it had to do with the camaraderie and the fact that I got to see so many people I knew on the race course. One thing that I did on this race that I hadn’t done before is join the Facebook group associated with the race. What I loved about being part of that group is probably true for every race’s FB group. But in this case, I think the group had a lot going for it, because it was there that we learned that (a) The race had been canceled due to an approaching hurricane, and (b) The race director (Gerry Boyle) was going to do everything he could to get the race postponed to two weeks later. And he did! This was a testament to him, the city of Cambridge, and the Ironman organization (at least in this case). Gerry Boyle became so famous for his efforts that people sought him out and were excited to take selfies with him when we finally got to actually do the race.

To understand how significant this is, you have to realize that the Ironman organization had never rescheduled a race once it had been canceled. All those people who had spent tons of money to sign up for a race, train for a race, and travel to the race site, typically just had to accept that the race they planned for had been canceled. They could do another race, but they couldn’t do the race they had been imagining. (Even Ironman Melbourne, which is the Asia-Pacific Championship race, was recently canceled due to scheduling conflicts with another event, and they aren’t rescheduling it–even though it wasn’t  supposed to happen until March 2016. So, if they can’t reschedule, it’s amazing that Ironman Maryland was able to!)

There were still people who had come from as far away as Australia, only to find out the race had been canceled and could not return on the new date. On the FB page, we all witnessed their disappointment and thanked them for coming, encouraging them to try to come back next year. My husband and I were lucky, because we live in Maryland. But it was cool to see how many people *did* come back, even though some had a hard time finding new accommodations. The race organizers really did a lot to try to find people places to stay.

Near the Finish Line

Near the Finish Line

Anyway, I promise I’ll get around to my recap of the race soon. But I just wanted to note a couple of other stories that I only knew about because of the FB group. First of all, there was one participant who was very active on the FB group, and was so enthusiastic about this being her first Ironman, that everyone just had to join in and relish it with her. And when I was in the transition area early on the morning of the race, the announcer mentioned her name and the fact that it was her first full Ironman, and people cheered. Maybe we don’t know her personally, but we had followed her story, and it was great to be there with her and be excited for her in that moment.

Another person we knew about from the IMMD FB group (and another FB group called “Pathetic Triathletes” #pathetic ) was a 72-year-old competitor, who–if he finished–would automatically get a slot for the Kona Ironman next year, because he was the only person in his age group to complete the swim. The whole day, people on FB were encouraging him and cheering for him. Alas, he did not finish. But after the race, the note he wrote to all the people who had supported him was so touching. He couldn’t believe he had all these people pulling for him, and he said he would be back next year!

We also learned of yet another person, who, unfortunately, had a heart attack during the swim and had to be pulled out. The good thing is that this person lived to tell his own story on the FB group and was so grateful to the people who had taken care of him. If you have ever read about fatalities during an Ironman, they do rarely occur, and usually it is during the swim portion. So, it was seriously amazing and wonderful to know that this person survived what had to be a harrowing experience!

The Swim (59:59)

So, let’s talk about the swim… My swim time looks pretty impressive, but it’s not. That’s because the swim was actually shortened. While we were standing around waiting for the start, the organizers announced that there was a “small craft advisory” in the area, and unfortunately, we would not be able to do the full swim. We all started wondering if they would cancel the swim altogether.

immd-sunrise

Waiting for the Swim Start

At first, they said it would be half the normal distance (so, 1.2 miles). But then, in keeping with the can-do spirit of this race, they realized they could at least lengthen it to around 3,000 meters (1.8 miles), which is at least longer than a half-distance. Anyway, it didn’t bother me. I was just glad we got to swim. I already knew that the Choptank River can be, well, choppy. And there can be a current that makes at least one part of the swim more difficult than the rest. But in this case, the swim was not terribly choppy until the last little bit. And I bet faster swimmers did not even experience any chop. It must have been getting worse just as I was finishing, because I did hear that other people thought it was a lot harder. And, hey, this was the only part of the race that I did faster than my husband. So woohoo for me!

Exiting-Swim-2

Exiting the Swim

The Bike (6:23)

I had already told myself that I was going to take it easy on the bike in order to save energy for the run. After Lake Placid, I had learned my lesson, and I wanted to actually be able to *run* this time! So, my plan for “taking it easy” was to ride around an average of 18.5 mph.

Well. The wind had something else in mind.

IMMD-passing-on-the-bike

All bundled up for the chilly bike ride

I had ridden the course several times, and I know the Wind of the Eastern Shore well. The person whose race report I referenced in the beginning of this post talked about how there must be a special vortex in Cambridge, MD that causes a headwind to come at you no matter what direction you ride in. And, that was pretty much true for most of the bike course. It was chilly also. So, most everyone had at least arm warmers on –if not something warmer. There was one section that was quite nice. But it would have killed me to maintain the pace I had planned on for most of the course. So, I ended up averaging 16-17 mph instead. And that was a bummer, because I have ridden that course in 5:50 before, and I really expected to be closer to that. Oh well. I stuck to my plan and saved some energy for the run. So, all was good. It was also fun to see my husband as he passed me early on the bike. I didn’t see anyone else I knew for the whole bike course, even though I knew a lot of people racing. That changed in a huge way on the run.

The Run (5:14)

The run was like a party. I saw Craig, Rhonda, Jeffrey, John, Harry, Lauren, Noreen, and a ton of other people from our tri club. I did not run as fast as I would have liked, especially since it was cool out and I should have run faster. I definitely ran faster at Arizona. But after Lake Placid, I was just thrilled to *be running*. I came out of transition and got to the first aid station, which was sponsored by our wonderful, fabulous, amazing local tri club (Annapolis Tri Club – ATC), and they announced my name on the loud speaker. They were playing great music and had personalized signs posted for each of us. Everyone cheered for me. I felt like a rock star!

ATC-signs

Personalized signs posted by our tri club

It was so great to see everyone, including our dear, dear support crew (affectionately known as “sherpas”) – Terese & Jon. They told me Craig was up ahead of me, which I had expected. The ATC water stop was right by the water. A beautiful location, but also windy. Those tireless volunteers really put in a hard day, keeping cups from blowing everywhere, giving a million high-fives, and trying to stay warm. And the best part for us was that we would come by this water stop six times on the run. So, you just knew it wouldn’t be long before you would see everyone again, with different people showing up throughout the day. Every time, it seemed, there was a new person to hug and celebrate with.

crazy-jenn-at-water-stop

Ridiculously zealous at the ATC water stop

The Finish (13:03)

So, if I had cared at the time, I probably would have picked it up more at the end of the run in order to get a 12:something finish time. My best Ironman time to date is 12:40, and it would have been great to stay in that 12-hour time frame. But I wasn’t really thinking about it. The finish was on a path that you actually ran over two times before you turned down the finishing shoot. It’s a brick road in downtown Cambridge. And it’s great – because there are bars that people hang out at and cheer for you every time you go by. But those uneven bricks! Sheesh! My legs were already tired, and I have questionable ankles that don’t like uneven surfaces. Plus, your feet are just sore by then. But you deal with what you have to deal with. And the last part of the run, coming down the straight-away to the finish line, was awesome even with the bricks. I was SO HAPPY to be at the end! I gave EVERYONE in the finishing shoot a high-five! And, there, at the end of the shoot, right before I crossed the line, was my husband, along with Jon & Terese. It was so great! I knew I had not finished with a stellar time or anything. But I had a great time doing it. The whole race was fun.

I really recommend this race. It can be choppy and windy. But there is a great spirit in Cambridge, and I hope that continues to be the case in future years.

Water-stop-sunset

Sunset at the ATC water stop

In closing, I’d just like to note that my husband Craig–who got me into this silly sport–finished IMMD with a PR time of 12:20! I’m so proud of him and I feel so lucky to get to train with him and share these kinds of experiences with him. It may seem like I’m just concerned about myself and my little triathlon experiences when you read this blog. But you must know that my life Would.Be.Nothing without him. Thank you, sweetie 🙂

Our version of the Iron Couple

Our version of the Iron Couple

——————————————————————————————-

Here is an easy-going post-race playlist for you. (See if you can spot the embedded IMMD triathlon.) Enjoy!

  • Lucky Now – Ryan Adams
  • Messages – Xavier Rudd
  • Into the Wild – Lewis Watson
  • White Daisy Passing – Rocky Votolato
  • Way Back When – Kodaline
  • Fire and the Flood – Vance Joy
  • The Breach – Dustin Tribbutt
  • In the Wind – Lord Huron
  • Running for Cover – Ivan & Alyosha
  • In My Mind (Summertime) – JR JR
  • Shooting Stars – Bag Raiders