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Assertion

Posted by ookgirl on September 7, 2015

Posted in: Ironman, Ironman Lake Placid, Ironman Maryland, Living Kidney Donation, music, triathlon. Tagged: #assertion, #blindpilot, #halfmoonrun, #imeldamay, #imlp, #IMMD, #indecision, #kidneydonation, #livingkidneydonation, #petergabriel, #thesubmarines, #triathlonlifestyle, #whitehorse, #whywetri, gratitude, ironman. 3 Comments

“Something’s wrong when you regret

Things that haven’t happened yet.

It’s a glorious day when morning comes

Without the feeling of alarm.

So rise

And shine

Now’s the time to be alive

To stay awake with me awhile.

(And smile.)”

–The Submarines

assertion

(əˈsɜːʃən)

A declaration that is made emphatically (as if no supporting evidence were necessary).
In computer programming – an expression which, if false, indicates an error.

In one of my long-ago, previous posts, I wrote about my decision to try an Ironman-distance triathlon and how I wanted it to be something I had decided to do emphatically. None of this ‘maybe I will,’ or ‘it might be cool.’ … No. I wanted it to be an absolute, resolute, unwavering, ‘yes, I’m going to do that [exclamation point!]’ But that’s not really how it happened. Unlike my almost automatic decision to donate a kidney to a loved one, the Ironman idea had to be pondered and realized over time.

The truth is, I’m not really an assertive person, in general. I’m very much on the subtle side of things.

Those who have been following this bog might wonder how my last foray into Ironman-itude went. It’s true, I didn’t rush back here to write a race report for you. I guess you can guess that it wasn’t my best race. But I did finish it!!! It took me a while to be happy with that result. As much as I don’t want to tell anyone my finish time, I’m really happy I can tell people that I did that race.

Ironman Lake Placid is no joke. The funny thing is, its difficulty seems to be just as subtle as I am. The swim is gorgeous and luxurious. The bike is beautiful and challenging. You love it and can’t wait to do the loop again… until you do it again. Then, it sneaks up on you, and you’re on the run, and you can’t understand why you have no legs and your stomach is upset. At least, that’s how it was for me. It’s so hard to tell how hard it is, that you don’t even know until it’s too late.

So it was that, and I didn’t train enough. But mostly that.

Now, I once again find myself in a position where I wish I could be assertive, …emphatic, …automatic. Some decisions feel like they should be that way, and yet they’re not. I don’t know why.

I’m such an incredibly lucky and blessed person. I have everything I could possibly need, and more. My cup is totally spilling all over the ground with opportunity, and love, and good fortune. How can a person know what to do in such a ridiculous situation?!

In the meantime, my husband and I are still planning (and training) to do Ironman Maryland in a few weeks (Oct. 3, to be exact).

At this point, Ironman training is just a way to keep my mind off things. So, while I’m avoiding assertions, I’ll provide a schizophrenic playlist for you. It’s starts out bold and brash and booming, and ends slower, subtler, …more like me, but less like I want to be. Try listening to the first and last song just for fun, and you’ll see what I mean.

“Hey, Dark Eyes

Rest with me awhile as I drift closer to sleep…

But still cannot…

Still cannot find no peace.”

–Half Moon Run

1940 (AmpLive Remix) – The Submarines
A Taste of Silver – Until the Ribbon Breaks
Gooey – Glass Animals
Baby, What’s Wrong? – Whitehorse
Got It – Marian Hill
Inside Out – Imelda May
When You’re Falling – Afro Celt Sound System (and Peter Gabriel, too 😉 )
Half Moon – Blind Pilot
Silver Coin – Angus & Julia Stone
Train Song – Benjamin Gibbard & Feist
Carolina – Benjamin Gibbard
In the Aeroplane Over… – Matt Pond PA
Fire Escape – Half Moon Run

I Have a Hamstring (and a Kidney)

Posted by ookgirl on December 10, 2014

Posted in: Ironman, Living Kidney Donation. Tagged: #hammy, #hamstring, #injuries, #kidneyversary, #livingkidneydonation, ironman, triathlon. 4 Comments

In sports like American football, when a player is injured, the commentators often say something like, “[Player-X] has a hamstring.” … or “[So-in-so] is out with a hamstring.” I always find it funny when they leave off the word “injury” — as if human beings don’t normally have a hamstring (two, even!) You can do this with any part of the body… “PlayerX has an ankle” …. “PlayerY is out with a wrist.” It makes me laugh… Until now, that is. Because now … I myself have a hamstring!

My friend Shelly likes to call it a hammy, which I think is cute. For some reason, it makes me think of a person running around with a big ham tied to the back of their leg, like in a cartoon. But this, my friends, is no laughing matter. Sure, I’ve had a strained/pulled hamstring before, and I would generally feel it whenever I started running. It would ache at first and then warm up and be okay. I could always think back to the moment I over-stretched it … maybe in a yoga class or while stretching after a run. But this time, it’s much worse. Sharp, searing pain, and not always when I’m running. I might just be walking into a store and YOWZA! An extreme burst of pain in my right hamstring — like it’s about to rip off. I hate it, and I’m embarrassed by it.

It also hurts when I’m driving. What’s with that? Somehow, they designed driver’s seats to put you exactly in the worst position for a hamstring injury. It takes me about an hour to commute to work (sometimes longer), and occasionally, I think I might have to pull over and take a rest because my hammy hurts so bad. It’s crazy.

I found this really great article that explains what’s going on with hamstrings and why they get injured. The problem is that they are actually over-stretched all the time, and the quads are stronger, so the quads just pull the hamstrings even more. Then, we feel like we need to stretch the hammies, but they’re over-stretched already. So, it’s like a vicious cycle. (The article explains it much better, but that’s the gist). My latest frustration is that I’ve been doing more strength training lately — which is what you are supposed to do to strengthen the hamstring so it doesn’t get injured. And yet! … The strength training seems to be aggravating my injury! That’s probably because I should have been doing more of it *before* I injured it. I know I need to ice it and rest it. I’ve been mostly swimming lately, so that’s good. (Swimming is awesome, because you can almost always swim – even when you’re injured.) But my work schedule this week has not made it easy to ice it. I will have to do better. And I may even have to break down and get an MRI.

I wouldn’t freak out over an injury like this normally. But this next year, I have two (yes, TWO) Ironman races on my schedule (Lake Placid & Maryland). So, I can’t afford to go into the training season with a big fat hammy. I just can’t. As much as I’ve been in denial over this injury, I’m going to have to face the facts and do the right thing with this one.

In other news, yesterday was my 3rd kidneyversary! That’s right, three years since I donated my left kidney to my stepdad. I spoke to my stepdad yesterday, and he is still doing great! And, hammy aside, I’m still doing great also. I think about my little right kidney down there working away to keep me healthy, and I just have to thank that kidney for stepping up and taking on the full load! At the time of my donation, I had only done my first half-Ironman, and I wasn’t sure if I could ever do that again. I found it to be so hard. At that time, I couldn’t imagine doing an Ironman, much less scheduling two in one year! Ironman Arizona was so amazing, and I know that we trained diligently for it. I’m going to have to be even more disciplined this time. I have to think that I’ve put that lone kidney through a lot! Thank you so much, little kidney!!! This has been quite a journey!

It seems funny to worry that having a hamstring could derail my triathlon plans, whereas having a kidney (only one, that is) doesn’t seem to be a problem at all.

Music Included

Posted by ookgirl on October 4, 2014

Posted in: Ironman, motivation, triathlon, Uncategorized. Tagged: #bellx1, #coldplay, #eels, #joyshop, #oscarwilde, #playlist, #running, #stars, ironman. 3 Comments

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”
–Oscar Wilde

So, my mom encouraged me to start blogging again (hence my recent post about doing Ironman Lake Placid next year.) And I’d like to be a real blogger, who posts often, with all kinds of interesting thoughts and whimsical comments … to entertain my massive following 😉

But the truth is, I don’t really have much to say that I think other people would want to read. Let’s face it: there’s a lot of crap out there to read on any given day… With email, and Facebook, and Twitter, and texts, and news, and dare I say actual work-related, school-related, or even book-related reading to do… we must all pace ourselves. If I’m going to throw one more thing onto your reading list, I feel like it should be worth your precious time and attention.

Yet, here I am trying to come up with something — so the Internet engine won’t mark my site with demerits for being dormant.

Therefore, I figured I’d start posting some stream-of-consciousness-like thoughts from my recent training runs (since that’s where I usually think of the little kernels of stuff to write about anyway). It’s like you’re getting the clay before it’s formed or the wine before it has fermented. Grey, lumpy matter and some grape juice; that’s what this is, people. Don’t say I didn’t warn you 🙂

“Dawn is coming. Open your eyes.”
–Jose Gonzalez

For me, the kernel of thought usually starts with a little music. So, I shall also share my running playlists just for the fun of it. Maybe someone out there will find that interesting. (Others will roll their eyes, but that’s okay. I can handle it.)

“I just saw the sun rise over the hill. Never used to give me much if a thrill. But hey, man, now I’m really living!”
–Eels

On one of my most recent training runs, I was listening to the playlist I’ll post below. It was also on this run that I twisted my ankle, scraped up my knee (see photo), and smacked my new iPhone flat against the paved trail when I fell. But luckily, my awesome phone case protected it, and it seems perfectly fine.

I’m happy to say that my ankle was fine enough for me to keep running, and I am trying to be nice to it now – so it will heal completely.

Also during this run, I became preoccupied with stars, due to several songs included in this playlist… We recently went to see one of my favorite bands – Bell X1 – so they featured prominently in the list.

I have an extremely emotional and religious attachment to the Bell X1 song Rocky Took a Lover. It’s about a homeless person (Rocky) and his lover, and how Rocky is fascinated by stars. Which, if you have no roof over your head, is a nice thing to feel that you *do* have… God knows, those of us who are not homeless don’t look at the stars nearly enough. Rocky and his lover also seem to have a difference of opinion about Jesus (or at least that’s how I hear it). And the lyric, “He said, I’ll shine for you,” pretty much always makes me tear up. Sometimes, I think about it religiously, and sometimes I think about my husband and how we both want to “shine” for each other… Like stars…

“He said they’re like headlights in the rear view mirror – they’re closer than they seem. And from this gutter, we’re still staring at the stars.
–Bell X1

Another thing I was thinking about during my run was that the Ironman World Championships in Kona, Hawaii, are coming up. I think it was when we went there to see our friend James do that race many years ago, that we watched the stars at night, and I got to see shooting stars and satellites crossing the night sky for the first time. Last year, before Kona, one of my favorite pro triathletes, Linsey Corbin, posted a series of videos about her preparation for Kona. That’s where I heard the song Souls to the Coast by Joyshop. With the ukelele as the main accompaniment, it is such a perfect backdrop for a video showing a bike ride to the Hawaii coast.

“You’re in the gutter, but your dreams will turn to gold.”
–Joyshop

Now, I will be preparing for *my* version of Kona: Lake Placid … one of the most epic Ironman races in the U.S. … So, now, I am eagerly putting together my “theme songs” for training. And so far, one of them might end up being the rather lame but infectious song Sky Full of Stars by Coldplay. I was originally disappointed with a song that starts with the chorus and simply repeats it in various forms. But it has grown on me, and there was this obsession with stars during this particular run. So, we’ll see. It’s definitely not the Coldplay I used to love. But it has a good beat and you can dance to it 🙂

“‘Cause You’re a sky, ’cause You’re a sky full of stars, I wanna die in Your arms.” …”Cause You get lighter the more it gets dark, I’m gonna give You my heart.”
–Coldplay

So, now that you know some of my “running thoughts”, here is the playlist that inspired them:

Do It Now – Ingrid Michaelson
The Moth – Aimee Mann
Breathe – Alexi Murdoch
Sing Loud – Alpha Rev
Velcro – Bell X1
Holocene – Bon Iver
Middle Distance Runner – Sea Wolf
Hey Man (Now You’re Really Living) – Eels
Stay Alive – Jose Gonzalez
Careful What You Wish For – Bell X1
Souls to the Coast – Joyshop
Girls Chase Boys – Ingrid Michaelson
Rocky Took a Lover – Bell X1
Brill Bruisers – The New Pornographers
A Sky Full of Stars – Coldplay
Simple Machine – Guster

Feel free to leave a comment with your playlists or the random thoughts from your recent swim, bike, run, or other meditative activity…

Getting the 4-1-1

Posted by ookgirl on October 1, 2014

Posted in: Cycling, Ironman, Living Kidney Donation, team in training, triathlon. Tagged: ironman, living kidney donation, Team in Training. Leave a comment

“Lake Placid is going to be totally different from Arizona,” our friend James warned me, adding, “I just want to give you the 911 on that.” I laughed and said it was scary for him to be ‘giving me the 911‘ instead of ‘the 411‘. Indeed, I already knew that Ironman Lake Placid is a lot harder than Ironman Arizona. The bike and run portions are both hilly, and the weather can be rainy and even steamy; but the scenery and overall race experience promise to be spectacular. So, since I already have ‘the 411’ on it, my goal will be to make sure my husband and I won’t need ‘the 911’! We are both signed up to do Ironman Lake Placid in 2015.

That means we’re in for some more intense training and, hopefully, an even healthier lifestyle in the year to come. We’ve certainly taken things a lot easier in the year since we did Ironman Arizona together in 2013. And we could both stand to get even more firmly back on the healthy eating bandwagon. It’s going to be another wild ride!

In the meantime, I am wrapping up my first season coaching for Team in Training, which is a program that helps people train for endurance events while they raise money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. The people I am coaching are amazing! They are driven; they set goals; they care about other people; they care about each other; and they know how to go the distance. They remind me every week that while we preoccupy ourselves with the challenge to go another mile; other people are battling for their lives. So, to just do an event is not enough. Let’s also raise awareness, raise funds, raise up these patients and their families. Let’s raise the bar. We can’t cure the diseases, but we can do something. And so we do.

My father is a cancer survivor. He didn’t have a blood cancer; he had colon cancer. But I still feel like helping LLS is helping people like him, because blood cancer research has led to treatments that can be used against other forms of cancer. I was able to help my stepfather by giving him a kidney. But I couldn’t give my dad a colon. That would have been so cool if I could have! Still, I think about him and how he has gone on to live fully despite what cancer took from him. He is an inspiration to me!

I’m keenly aware that things don’t go so well for all cancer patients. One of the Lymphoma patients that we consider an honored teammate with Team in Training just started a new chemo regimen in her five-year battle against cancer. It will mean the fifth time she will lose her hair. And yet, she faces it with grace. The other day, she posted a picture of herself while she was getting a treatment, and her beautiful smile told you that her spirit is still strong even if her body is tired. She is also an inspiration to me!

How does Lake Placid compare to losing your hair and parts of your body to cancer? I think that’s all the 411 I need to keep me going!

My Other Body is an Ironman

Posted by ookgirl on March 3, 2014

Posted in: Escape from Alcatraz Triathlon, Ironman, Living Kidney Donation. Tagged: #escapefromalcatraztriathlon, ironman, triathlon. Leave a comment

So, if anyone has been following this blog, they’ve probably noticed that I haven’t posted anything in a while. (By the way, when do you use “awhile” and when do you use “a while”?…) Perhaps that major mystery of the universe it’s what’s been holding me back? Or maybe it’s just because I’ve been searching for my momentum. MOMENTUM! I need it. I have 12-ish weeks until the Escape from Alcatraz Triathlon, and I’m freaking out a little bit inside. Okay, a lot. There is snow on the ground here, and I’ve only been out on my bike one time this entire year. I need to do more Computrainer rides, longer, faster swims, and TONS more running. My running suffered a lot while I rested my stress-reaction-laden foot for 8 weeks. And, to be honest, my foot still isn’t 100%. But I have the Cherry Blossom 10-miler coming up in April. So, I need to run. I’m back up to 6 miles now. So, that’s something.

Now, I draw your attention above to the picture of my sad, sad Ironman Arizona Finisher sticker. That sucker isn’t even a full four months old yet! Pretty lame quality, Ironman Inc. Couldn’t you come up with something that lasts a little longer? But then, I wonder if it’s sort of a reflection of the current state of my body. Once, not too long ago, I was a smiling, shining, lean, mean, Ironman machine. But today, I’m more of a limping, chubby, triathlete poser…

Actually, it’s not that bad. It *felt* that bad over the last few weeks. And that’s why I didn’t post anything. I just didn’t want to fill the world with my negative thoughts, when –REALLY– what do *I* have to complain about?! My life is practically perfect compared to many other people’s lives. But when you’ve lost what you had, it’s always hard, no matter how good you have it…

But I’m here to tell you, ladies and gentleman, that things are turning around. I got in a solid week of training last week, and I feel a little momentum returning. I pledge to do more posting instead of posing. And I promise to do more training. And I promise that – like it or not – you will get to hear all about it 🙂

Now to go look for that other body of mine…

18 Minutes (Ironman Arizona 2013 Race Report)

Posted by ookgirl on November 24, 2013

Posted in: Ironman, Ironman Arizona, Living Kidney Donation, triathlon. Tagged: gratitude, ironman, living kidney donation, Thanksgiving. 13 Comments

This is a really long post. I apologize. Even though the title 18 Minutes will make sense once you’ve read it, I hope you don’t mind taking that much time to read it …

Have you ever driven all the way to work and realized you aren’t sure how you got there? You know you were driving, but you don’t actually remember stopping at any of the lights, or using your turn signal, or changing lanes on the expressway? Well, that’s sort of what it’s like to do an Ironman. You’ve trained so hard, for so many hours. So, when the cannon goes off, you just go.

All you can think about is going. You go until the end. And much of the rest is sort of a blur. Even though you remember the moments you’ll cherish, like getting out of the water, seeing your support crew on the sidelines, or seeing – in my case – your spouse on the bike and run … you drive yourself crazy later trying to remember insignificant details like whether you ate anything that was in your special needs bag or when you decided to ditch the thing of sunscreen you carried with you for hours, just in case.

Before I describe what some of my Ironman Arizona 2013 experience was like, let me describe the course a bit… The swim is one loop in Tempe Town Lake, which despite being near Phoenix, AZ – is notoriously cold compared to some other Ironman swims. The bike is a three-loop out-and-back course, with a slight uphill going out and downhill coming back. You can stop at your special needs bag on the second and third loops. The run (this year) was a two-loop course, with a stop at your special needs bag half-way through.

The days leading up to Ironman Arizona 2013 were nothing like I had imagined before we got to Tempe. I had packed the clothes I’d wear for our practice loop on the bike course and the run I’d do after the practice swim (since I figured I’d want to warm up somehow after getting out of what I was sure would be freezing water in Tempe Town Lake). Well, somehow between my husband having a weird-new-car-smell headache from the van we rented and a silly quest to find the only place in Tempe that sold Thai basil so we could make a favorite recipe, we did neither the bike loop nor the practice swim. (The Thai Basil fried rice was super delicious, though!). I did get in one run, but otherwise, my husband and I stressed ourselves out … running around and not giving ourselves any time for quiet reflection. And we had a rare (for us) fight that left me wondering if I wanted to do the race at all. At that point, no stupid Ironman was worth having discord between us.

Stress will do that to you. Next time (if we do this again), I plan not to plan so many stupid activities before the race. Simpler and quieter is better. It might even be better if we stayed in separate rooms – to give each other space. Don’t get me wrong, my husband and I get along really well normally. We are a freakishly easy-going couple. And we had the most loving and supportive group around us for this event. Truly. (Some of you really helped us get through this unexpected rough patch. I hope you know who you are. Thank you!) But, we needed a little space and time to our individual selves. Duly noted for next time!

Anyway, we got through it by the day before the race. And we were even smiling and joking with each other again on race morning. I had accepted that if the water was cold, it would be cold — whether I had done the practice swim or not. And since we had done the Computrainer version of the bike course, I felt okay about that also. I was mentally prepared for all the worst possible scenarios: hyperventilating on the swim because the cold water might take my breath away… the numerous flat tires and mechanical problems I might have on the bike (to the point that I took note of all the cut-off times just in case) … and the mystery of how I might feel on the run, possibly throwing up and walking most of it.

But guess what… None if that happened. It was absolutely the most perfect day. Here is how it went…

Swim:
Clad in our full wetsuits and neoprene caps, we walked down to jump in the water. We jumped in feet first as instructed, and plunged deep down. I floated back to the surface and noticed that the water was … totally normal. Not cold or anything! We looked at each other with a shrug and started to swim over toward the start line. We positioned ourselves just beyond the second bridge and a little to the right, toward the wall. When the cannon went off, there was plenty of jostling, some kicks and flailing of arms, but nothing like I had imagined. Someone hit me in the right goggle once, but that was the only really shocking moment. You swim awhile and go under another bridge before you turn to head back in the other direction. It took most of the first leg to the turn buoy before I got into a rhythm. The sun was in our eyes just before the turn, but much better after that. On the way back, it felt like the wake of so many out-going swimmers might be pushing us back a little. But Craig didn’t recall that when I asked him later. So, maybe I imagined it. I had to sight more on the way back, as the buoys were set at an angle, and I actually heard kayakers telling people to stay to the right. After swimming back under the last bridge and turning toward the swim exit, I was so excited to hear the announcer and the crowd. There was a bit of a back-up getting out of the water. You had to wait your turn to climb up the stairs and get hoisted out by the volunteers. But I was so relieved. Yay! The swim was done!

Swim Time: 1:31:31.

Bike:
One of the peelers pulled off my wetsuit and I ran toward the bike gear bags and change tents. I saw our support crew and they told me (thankfully) that Craig was already out and ahead of me. I knew he would be, but it was nice to have confirmation. He did the swim in 1:23. I took a pit stop before changing clothes. Thank goodness for well-placed port-o-potties after the swim! My T1 was super slow: 12:46, but I didn’t care. Ironman is a long day; better to be properly dressed and ready to jump on that bike. I put on my race belt with the GPS tracker in it – so our friends could track me using an app they developed called RaceJoy (more on this later). There was a bunch of hay or grass or something on the ground in the change tent. So, you couldn’t help but put some of it on with your socks and so forth. I decided against wearing the arm warmers and vest in my bag. It just wasn’t nearly as cold as I thought it would be. Out at my bike, I pressed the button to turn on my Garmin and started running with my bike to the Bike Out sign. I got to the mount line and looked at my Garmin. All it said was “Working…” Huh? I’d never seen it say that before. I ran by our friends, and while James was telling me (with all his past Ironman experience and wisdom) that I had all day, I kept looking at my Garmin wondering what the heck it was “Working…” on. As I mounted and got underway, I turned it off and back on a few times and finally gave up — figuring maybe it would come around. About a mile into the bike, it came to life, and – you’ll love this – after all my power meter troubles, it said, “Power Meter detected. Would you like to calibrate?” I pressed hard on the button to indicate “no” and finally saw my speed, time and mph. I figured it was about 1-2 miles off, but at least I had some point of reference for the rest of the ride. Later, I learned that Craig had exactly the same experience with his Garmin. Maybe the transition area was in some sort of Area 51-like time warp that GPS satellites can’t detect.

I pushed hard on the inclines going out, trying not to draft. People were very bunched up, especially on the coned-off sections heading out of town. I enjoyed passing so many people who seemed to think that was a real hill. They’ve obviously never been up Chesterfield or Franklin Gibson, or pretty much anywhere in Western MD. Every once in a while, someone really fast would pass all of us. The pros were still out finishing their 2nd & 3rd loops, and they were flying! I had to un-clip one foot at the turn around each time, as I’m no good at tight turns. But luckily, it never caused a problem for folks behind me, since everyone seemed to really slow down there. The ride back to town is practically all downhill and very fast. On the first loop, it was amazingly fast, and I took it easy to get a rest. It was nice going over 20 mph without any effort at all. Craig said he got up to 30+ on this section. On the 2nd and 3rd loops, this section wasn’t quite as fast, because a head wind came along and continued to build for the rest of the ride. But I didn’t mind. No flats, no crashes. I was happy. We saw our support crew several places on the bike course. RaceJoy was working, and they knew right where to catch us!

Despite having something for every kind of nutritional or mechanical contingency in my bike special needs bag, I only stopped to get more Perpetuem on the second loop and to take some precautionary Tylenol and Tums on the third loop. (People with only one kidney can only take Tylenol; no NSAIDS.) The only nutrition I used on the bike was one Gu at the start and then Perpetuem the rest of the time. (Luckily, it was possible to get the special needs bags back after the race. So, I did not lose the extra tire, tubes and CO2 I put in there.)

I finished the bike in 5:57:44. (I had to save something for the run.)

Run:
My T2 time was a bit better – only 6:16. I found that the volunteers in the change tent and at special needs hover a bit more than I’d like. I love that they want to help you so much. But I sort of wanted time to myself to consider everything without people asking me what I needed. I hate to sound ungrateful, though, because the volunteers were awesome in every other way! I put a ridiculous amount if sunscreen on and headed out on the run. It was at this point that people everywhere seemed to know my name. They put your first name on your bib, but no one can really see it until you are on the run. So, I had to get used to total strangers calling out my name. It was very nice once I understood it. I stopped at the port-o-potties at the first water stop and congratulated myself on having hydrated well enough to have to go. Of course that was the last time for the rest if the day. (People with only one kidney should hydrate even better than I did, but I never felt too bad, and I was sure to take Endurolytes throughout the day.)

I saw our support crew a few miles into the run. They told me that Craig was about 35 minutes ahead of me. At that point I knew I probably would not catch him. I was happy he was having a great race (although I had no idea that he had lost his flask if pickle juice, which he takes for the salt, and he was actually cramping up already on the run). Not too long after seeing our group, I saw them again & was amazed. How did they get there so quickly? It took me a while – in my Ironman-fog – to realize that they were crossing a bridge from one side of Tempe Lake to the other – to catch each of us when they could. I was gaining on Craig, and made up about 20 minutes on him at one point, but then slowed down. It wasn’t until after we had both passed the 13-mile mark that I saw him going in the opposite direction. I was on an upper trail, and he was down below. We shouted to each other, and he told me about losing his pickle juice. I offered him the small flask I had, but he said he had picked up another one at the special needs stop. I told him I also had Endurolytes, and he said I could give him some when I caught him. Even then, though, I could tell he was too far ahead of me. I’d have to really speed up to catch him. All I could do was keep jogging forward. Each step I took, I’d think, “well, that’s another step I don’t have to take again.” I kept wondering if I’d be able to run the whole thing or if I’d reach a point where I’d have to walk. In the end, I only walked the water stops and I only drank water, a little pickle juice, and some cola. I took my Endurolytes, Tums, more Tylenol, and some Clif Shot blocks. Luckily, I never had indigestion. I couldn’t believe it.

For the last part of the run, I didn’t see our support group again, and I knew that was because they had gone to the finish to see Craig cross the line. I imagined him running down the finishing shoot and getting the best Ironman time he’d had to date. I was so happy for him. I went past the point where the finishers break off from the people starting their second loop, and a volunteer said that 12:45 was a reasonable possibility for those of us passing then. I hadn’t even thought about what my time might be until that point. I felt like I was really running slowly by then, so I decided 12:50 would be fine by me. Anything less than 13 hours would be awesome. As I got to the finishing shoot, I searched the crowd in vain for our supporters. There were so many people! I was just realizing how happy I was to be there when I saw Craig waiting there for me. I couldn’t believe it! He had waiting 18 minutes for me to get there so we could cross the line together! His real finish time would have been 12:22.

But instead, he got the same time as I did: 12:40!

What a nice guy my husband is! After the stressful days before the race and all we had been through together, he was so nice to do that so we’d have a special finish line experience. Of course, he’s assured me since then that it won’t happen next time 🙂

In the end, my run time was 4:52. Amazingly, that’s not much slower than my last marathon. (Last year, following the kidney donation, my running was really slow. No matter how much I trained, I couldn’t run faster than about 4:40 in a marathon. I hope this means I could do much better than that now. The first year after surgery is just not about speed. But it gets better.)

We did some wonderful sight-seeing in Sedona and the Grand Canyon in the week after the race… And now that we are back home, It is nice to reflect on this wonderful experience. Beforehand, I was thinking how nice it would be to have Thanksgiving the week after we got back, because we wouldn’t feel so guilty about eating all the food. But what hadn’t occurred to me is that we’d have so much to be thankful for. Aside from the stress-induced fight, everything was perfect. Our friends and my sister Michelle made it so special, and everyone back home poured out so much incredible support to us. I just can’t be more thankful! THANK YOU, GOD. And THANK YOU, EVERYONE!

And thank you, also, to the readers of this blog. It’s supposed to be about how I donated a kidney and yet went on to live a relatively normal life. However, it turns out that I hardly ever remember to mention the kidney thing, and my life goes on to be somewhat extraordinary. I hope the same is true for other kidney donors out there. You can’t forget about it entirely. You have to take care of yourself. But I hope it doesn’t hold you back either. Two years ago, when I donated a kidney to my stepfather, I asked one of the doctors on the transplant team if I still might be able to try an Ironman – given my altered condition. He never said no, but merely said I would have to stay hydrated, listen to my body, and it would tell me if I could do it. I’m so grateful that I could. So many other people might just be able to dream of it, but I was lucky enough to do it!

Post Script – RaceJoy:
You may recall that in a previous blog post, I said we would not be using RaceJoy for Ironman, because it normally requires the athlete to carry a cell phone (for the bike & run). Since Ironman rules prohibit cell phones, we had scrapped that idea. But the developers of RaceJoy (who are our good friends) decided to have us test a couple of GPS tracking devices instead of our phones. It worked really well, and we hope this will spur them to feel confident about working with a manufacturer to create a RaceJoy tracking device. (For the foot races that RaceJoy is already being used on, the phones work really well.) Anyway, we were so honored to test RaceJoy for our friends, and our spectators really reaped the benefits by knowing where we were at all times. It was absolutely amazing, and truly brought joy to the race 🙂

(Photo credits: Crystal Martin, Dana Harris, and Shelly Harris.)

ChesapeakeMan Aquabike 2013 Race Report

Posted by ookgirl on September 23, 2013

Posted in: Cycling, Ironman, Ironman Arizona, Maryland, triathlon. Tagged: ChesapeakeMan, ironman, Ironman Arizona, triathlon. Leave a comment

When I do Ironman Arizona in eight weeks, my plan is to have a good time, and not necessarily to worry about getting a good time. That day will be all about finishing. But somewhere in the back of my mind, in a tiny little place, where I allow myself to think I might have the ability to be a pretty decent triathlete, I had thoughts of really doing well at this past weekend’s ChesapeakeMan AquaBike.

This race is two thirds of the Ironman: a 2.4-mile swim, followed by a 112-mile bike. A great experience and preparation for the real thing.

All I had to do, I told myself, was make it through the swim. If I had a good swim, I knew I could handle the bike portion, no problem. Although I knew, theoretically, that I could swim that far, I hadn’t done quite that distance in open water yet. And that is always a different story from swimming in a pool.

So, my husband and I were there to do the race, along with some other folks from our Tri club. It was fun socializing the night before, and lamenting about the mind-boggling process of sorting out transition bags and special needs bags. And we weren’t even doing a full ultra distance!

The morning of the race, I had my typical nervousness, but for the most part, I was pretty calm. Not to get all religious-y on you, but I had read my devotional in the morning. And its basic message was to quiet my mind and listen for what God has to tell me. And, I have to say, when you’re out in open water, swimming, hoping to make it through and not get kicked unconscious or swim an extra mile out of your way because you didn’t sight properly, you are willing to listen to God, at least I am. I figured He could see where I was going 🙂

So, the swim started, and Craig was near me. It was so comforting to have him there. The first lap of the swim was fairly easy. There was the normal battle to find your own “lane,” yet follow someone else’s feet, so you could have the sense that you were going the right way. And then, there were the jelly fish. Diana Nyad’s words, “Find a way,” were punctuating my stokes. And I knew these jelly fish were nothing compared to what she endured. Somewhere in that first lap, I remembered to ‘listen to God’. I wasn’t in distress at all. I just wanted to be open and receive the signal, as it were. In my head, I said, “I’m listening.”

Right about this time, I thought about crazy people who say that God is talking to them. So, I tried to reassure myself that I didn’t fall into that category, even though I am crazy enough to have signed up for an Ironman. But I digress…

Anyway, I swear -to You Know Who- that right after I said (in my head), “I’m listening,” I hear in response, “You’re going to have to listen to me on the bike also.” Seriously. I’m not making this up. Even if I am (apparently) crazy 🙂 … The message was – don’t go thinking you’re hot shit and can sail through the bike. You’re gonna have to work for that one also. Ok, I thought. I’ll try to be humble.

The second lap of the swim also went well. The jelly fish were worse, though. They were all stirred up and angered by the time we went round again. I was so happy to get to the finishing shoot. Ecstatic, actually. I stumbled out if the water, pulled back the sleeve of my wetsuit, and looked at my watch: 1:29. That’s really good for me! I was so happy. And even better, Craig came out of the water right at the same time (he had actually cramped up at one point. Otherwise, he definitely would have been faster).

I went into the change tent and removed my wetsuit. I took inventory of myself. All good. I went out to my bike and took care of business to get that long ride started! Craig was right there. It was just like we were about to go out for a fun ride. No biggie. I felt great!

I left transition before him, but it wasn’t long before he caught me. I figured I’d let him ride up ahead, and just try to keep him in my sights. If I couldn’t – no big deal. I felt confident.

After a while, Craig was going too slow for me (he had said he was going to take it easy on the first 15 miles or so). But I was in passing-people mode. You come out of the water and you pass people. That’s what you do 🙂

So, I passed him, making a smart-ass remark about how he needed to speed up. Then, at the first water stop, a girl (who is probably a spazz like me) attempted to grab a water bottle on the fly, wavered, veered out in my path, and I had to brake hard, fish tailing, not to hit her. Sheesh! That, I said to her in my head, is why I don’t try to take a water bottle on the fly. I will just pull over out of the way and stop and grab the dang thing and save everyone a lot of trouble. But whatever.

The ride from that point until mile 56 was glorious. The weather was great. The winds were strong but manageable. I rode until my water reservoir (Speed Fill) was empty. Then I pulled over to refill it. Craig had passed me again by then, and that was normal. I had made it past a one-mile section of crappy road, with bumpy pits and gravel humps, and what-have-you. I was just riding along, feeling thankful with how everything had gone so far. Only 10 more miles to go until the bike special needs stop.

And then POW! Like a gunshot! My front tire blew. I steadied myself, pulled over to stop, and I could see that my tube was completely outside my tire, with my tire already half-way off my rim. Sheesh!

But I remained calm. I got this, I said. To God. Yes, You are giving me a little challenge, but I can handle it. Craig helped me practice changing tires so many times after my recent bout of flats in Indianhead. So, this is no problem. Piece of cake.

Some guy from the race pulled his car up to make sure I was okay and watched me finish the job. He said, “Wow, you’ve obviously done this before.” I felt so good about myself. I got on my merry way. Hey, now I’ll have a story to tell., and Craig will be proud of me. I’d lost some time, but no big deal. I can make it up.

Another mile down the road… POW! Again! Crap.

I’m thinking, it must be a pinch flat. I must have done something wrong. I jumped off my bike. Some nice man pulled his truck over to make sure I was okay. I said, “Oh yeah, this is my second flat. I must have done something wrong when I changed it a few minuted ago.” I also explained how I’m not supposed to accept help or I’ll be disqualified. I turn to pull my second tube off the back of my bike. But it’s gone! It fell off. I had it cinched down with a Velcro strap, but it didn’t hold. No tube. Crap. What do I do now?

At this point, I’m not thinking clearly, although I’m starting to understand what God was talking about. I throw my bike in the ditch off the road, and start running back to find the tube I dropped. Cyclists are riding past me, wondering what the heck I’m doing. A car or two or five go by. I’m running in my cycling shoes. It can’t be more than a mile. I can do this. Eventually, it dawns on me that cars have probably run my tube over a few times by now. Some people in a car come by and ask if I need a ride. They are spectators waiting for their sister to get to that part of the race. I decide, sure, I’ll accept help. I’m not going to win anything anyway. I may not even have a tube anymore. So, they drive me a bit further down the road until they can find a place to turn around and take me back to my bike. And just where they stop – there’s my tube!

I jump out and grab it. We are all excited. Maybe I can still change my flat and finish the race! The tube was fine, but the valve on the stem was jammed. Maybe a car tire had hit it after all. But the girl in the car had some tweezers that I used to get it unstuck. We get back to my bike, I thank them profusely and start changing my tire. I still wasn’t thinking about the possibility that the tire itself was damaged. I don’t know why. The SAG people show up and say, “Are you #508?” (Apparently, I’m famous now, as the crazy triathlete who was running down the road the wrong way with bike helmet and bike shoes on…) “Yes,” I say, “I’m ok now.” They offer to pump up my tire so I don’t have to use my CO2 cartridge. They start pumping it, and POW! Again! SHEESH!

I pull the tire off and turn it inside out, I scan it and see nothing. Finally, I see a spot with white dust on it and brush it off. There is the gash in my tire. This must be what blew when it hit whatever it was the first time. Why did I not realize this before?! The SAG guys have no spare tires, but they make a patch with a piece of cardboard and electrical tape. They tell me they are going to only put in 100 pounds of pressure (instead of 120) -so it won’t strain the patch. Maybe this will get me through. I thank them and get going.

I ride conservatively to the special needs stop (about 9 miles from what was my “danger zone” of flats). I’ve already decided this is not going to be a leisurely stop. I have 45 miles to go with no tubes and a patched tire. I spray on some sunscreen at the advice of the rest stop volunteers. The look on their faces convinced me it was a good (if not futile) idea. I must be quite pink by now.

I head out on the second loop. And, let me tell you – all that flat tire stuff that had happened … That probably wasn’t what God was talking about. No, it was the crazy wind machine that got turned on for that second loop. I couldn’t even get in my aero bars for a good 20 miles because I felt the wind would blow me over. It was CRAZY! I was doing all I could to go 15 mph. I saw my average speed slowly going down from 19.5. Darn, I was really proud of that. Yes, this had not been the day I was hoping for. I got to the last 20 miles, though, and it was beautiful. I took it easy, hoping/praying my tire would hold. And it did.

But even finishing an hour later than I had wanted, I did finish. And that ended up being a triumph. I did this race for the experience, and I got plenty of that! I learned a lot. I am more confident, even though I’m also more aware how easily flats can happen – anywhere, at any time (you just don’t think they will happen in a race, but they do!). I’m glad I did it.

I did not necessarily have a good time, and I did not get a good time. But I still had angels who helped me out. And I had my husband there when I really needed him to be around, and I had great friends around to talk to afterward.

And I got a lesson to be humble and expect the unexpected, even in your strongest portion of the race.

Until next time… -ookgirl

Having Faith

Posted by ookgirl on September 3, 2013

Posted in: Cycling, Ironman, Ironman Arizona, Living Kidney Donation. Tagged: bicycle safety, faith, God, ironman, Ironman Arizona, religion, triathlon. Leave a comment

I’m just posting something quick this week, because I’m already running late today & it’s already Tuesday – since yesterday marked the end of the long Labor Day weekend.

We had a full weekend: 100-mile ride on Saturday, which I followed with a 20-minute run. on Sunday, we drove out to Assateague Island and looked at a camp trailer that we might end up ordering (it’s hard to get them second-hand). We also had the dogs with us, so we let them play on the beach. It was hot that day! On Monday, we each put in solid two-hour or so workouts. Mine consisted of a 1500-yard swim, followed by a one hour, forty minute run. I also participated in a “protest” of sorts. A bunch of us held up signs on a street corner to spread the word about giving cyclists three feet of clearance; it’s the law in Maryland, but most people don’t know it. It was in honor of the woman (Trish) who got hit and killed on her bike almost two weeks ago, as well as another man who was killed earlier this summer. We need to keep working together with motorists to understand each other and share the responsibilities of the road.

That event, and the news on Monday that my husband’s cousin was hit by two deer while riding his motorcycle –putting him in the hospital with serious injuries– is what has me thinking of faith today. I don’t talk about it much, but I do believe in God & I pray all the time. I always try to realize that you can’t take anything for granted. And when things like this happen, it’s so hard not to scream “Why???” and feel such desperation. As Craig and I embraced and kissed each other goodnight last night, it was hard not to think of those who suddenly could not do that with their loved ones last night. How tragic and haunting. All we can do is have faith and try to believe that it is all part if God’s plan. Somehow tied to this in my mind was also Diana Nyad’s triumphant swim from Havana to Key West this weekend. I think that was part of God’s plan also. After trying to do it four other times and meeting such great obstacles, her experience and Mother Nature conspired (with God, I’m sure) to make it an incredible success this time. It was grit and determination for sure, but I have to think that faith was in there somewhere as well. She proved something to all of us and shared great wisdom about following your dream.

Is There Enough Time?

Posted by ookgirl on August 26, 2013

Posted in: Cycling, Ironman, Ironman Arizona, Living Kidney Donation, Maryland, triathlon. Tagged: ironman, Ironman Arizona 2013, Training, triathlon. Leave a comment

So, we have a little less than 12 weeks to go until Ironman Arizona, and it feels like it will be non-stop from here on out! In addition to our regular training, we have three century (100-mile) bike rides, one Iron-distance aqua-bike (swim 2.4 miles and bike 112 miles), and one half-Ironman distance race. I also have a metric marathon on my schedule, but it will be in a tough week amidst everything else, so I’m going to just see how it goes. It would be a good training run at that point, though.

This past weekend, we sort of took it easy with a 41-mile ride and a 10-mile run (Annapolis 10-miler). It was nice having some time this weekend to do a few things around the house and spend time with our dogs. I feel accomplished and yet not completely drained.

At the run, our community paid tribute to a local high school coach, mother, fast runner, and triathlete, who was hit and killed by a van while riding her bike. It still has me reeling when I think about it. You can be safe, ride safe roads, wear bright clothes, use lights on your bike, and be cautious. But there is still no guarantee that you won’t one day be hit by a car or just have some sort of accident on your bike. Many prayers for Trish’s family and friends and the many people she was a mentor to. What a loss!

The bike accident makes me think we might have made some wise choices this year that I didn’t realize at the time. For one thing, we have ridden a lot indoors during the week. I’d rather get outside on my bike. But work schedules being what they are – we’ve chosen to ride indoors so that we’re certain to get the riding in (no weather or bad timing to use as an excuse). This means we haven’t been out on the roads as much during evening rush-hour. Also, we are doing several organized long rides (centuries & metric centuries) on the weekends, so we are riding when there are large numbers of cyclists out – hopefully making it more obvious to drivers that – hey – bicyclists are on the road. Anyway, I hope these have been good choices.

One last thought before I close out this post: the run is the thing. I expect to be writing much more about that in the coming weeks. The run is the thing I need to work on most and the thing I’m most worried about. I think I want to start working in more running miles where I can. I’m not sure how I will do it. But at least as fall approaches, the temps will be dropping and running in the afternoon won’t be so bad. I don’t want to kill my knees with tons of pounding, but I want the run to be easy enough that I can enjoy it. I’m interested in having a good time, not getting a good time. (But maybe the former will enable the latter.) I didn’t know Trish, but she was, by all accounts, a master runner. The Annapolis Running Shop has been distributing these stickers that say, “Run Like Trish”. All I can say is, it would be an honor to try.

In the Head, Not the Legs

Posted by ookgirl on August 19, 2013

Posted in: Cycling, Ironman, Ironman Arizona, Living Kidney Donation, Maryland, triathlon. Tagged: attitude, ironman, Ironman Arizona, temerity, triathlon. Leave a comment

We now have a little less than 13 weeks until Ironman Arizona (IMAZ), and I’m definitely learning some important lessons in my training journey. I guess the main lesson I’m learning is something I see in my husband when we go out to train: It’s not what you have left in your legs; it’s what’s in your head.

Even before we started training for an Ironman together, I could have told you that the biggest difference between him and me is that he knows he can do it, whereas, I need to prove to myself that I can do it.

But his way is so much better.

I think my way will get me to the finish line. But his way gets you there with panache, with style, with spirit, with courage, with flair, …. with an emphatic exclamation point written in the sky by a plane! That’s the way I want to be.

And it’s not just at the finish line either. It’s in training, swimming that extra 50 for time; getting up that next hill even though your legs are tired; running that much faster now, because now matters. It’s like exercising the “now muscle”. That muscle needs to grow and be nurtured. I don’t even know if I’ve ever exercised that muscle before! It’s the muscle that kicks in when you see someone passing you near the finish line, and you give it just that much more so you can pass them back.

What I’ve never understood about that muscle is that I always thought its source was competitiveness. (I’m about the least competitive person you will ever meet.) But what I didn’t realize is that the source of the “now muscle” is something vital to our very core. When we’re in the moment and we need to fight for our lives, can we rise to the occasion? Can we push the limits? You don’t know unless you try. If you never try, that muscle never gets exercised. Don’t think of it as being competitive and showing up another person. No. It’s showing yourself what you can do. Now matters.

Taking the whole idea a bit further, I’ve also found that the triathletes I most admire (those I actually know in person) are the ones who exude joy for the race. They’re so happy to be there and so sure of why they’re there. And, as a consequence, they totally rock it every time. That’s the triathlete I want to be.

The easiest way to sum this up is to say that attitude is everything. I hate to be so boring and go back to that pat phrase. But it’s really true. Do your training, sure. Put in the hours and the miles and the sweat. But get your head right, too. That’s where it’s at, baby!

OOK

Only One Kidney – Donating a kidney and life afterward